“You have to change names. I can be a secretary, but nothing else can match.” Usha replied to her sister.
“So, like, nothing about the triplets?” Virika with her outlet of writing, had borrowed her sister’s likeness before. But asking for something in a more ‘real’ setting had to have limits, especially with the verification that had gone into Usha getting her current job.
“Especially no triplets. She would hunt you down.”
“You’d still be secretary though – no promises later.”
“Sure. Like you know what a secretary does anyways.”
“Miss Sophi Roy, calling from the university?” The girl introduced herself to the receptionist. “We have one of your secretaries in observation.”
“Yes, we received the phone call,” The Receptionist wore the uniform of the BIGWUN Paperwork company, who produced an entire states’ worth of paperwork every day. “This badge will grant you access to the 4th floor, Where Miss Usha has a desk – you’re free to interview anyone who agrees. Out lack of secrets is copied in triplicate here. But, please be sure to not sign anything you didn’t bring yourself. “
In the elevator, Sophi adjusted her trendy glasses in the mirrored panel. she tugged at her light brown hair, she moved her nose just a little bit more to the right.
Papers were flying everywhere on the 4th floor, but she knew just were to go, as if she worked there every day. Usha’s cubicle was not the only one empty, but it had it’s own mess of papers, and it’s chair was out of place. She referred to her notebook, and pretended to look around for The boss, Ms. Roy No Relation. The boss was hardly worth an interview, behind her giant desk with the phone, But she called Priya to the conference room, because she had made trouble yesterday and deserved to get further behind today.
Priya had made the call for the ambulance. Sophi noted this. Priya has seen Usha asleep at her desk, and first meant to wake her up so she would not get in trouble. Sophi noted this. But then Priya noticed how strangely Usha unk into the chair and desk, like plastic left on a hot car dashboard. Priya tried to poke Usha, but her finger had refused to poke, sliding into Usha’s shoulder. She motioned, with her finger, indicating pas her second knuckle. Sophi noted this.
This was when the ambulance was called. Priya had seen them trying to take a pulse, and looking concerned. The had moved Usha to a stretcher, and would take her to the university hospital. She remembered Usha seeming to bounce extra high as the walked along. Sophi noted nothing.
Was Priya aware of any changes to Usha’s condition before the indecent? Priya Thought. Usha had been putting on weight lately – or at least, there were days she looked very chubby in her uniform. Usha usually ate with other people, but spent breaks alone, and focused on having as little paperwork on her desk as possible. She had hear Usha did yoga on her breaks, but had not seen it herself.
Sophi thanked Priya – unless she had anything to add. Priya merely asked how Sophi got her skin to look so nice – like on tv, but there wasn’t any makeup.
Oh, that was due to myofascial release, said Sophi with some surprise. She was sure it actually took longer than makeup did, though, But as a university student, she emphasized, she had a lot of time sitting there studying.
There were other interviews, but they had much the same to say, if anything at all. Jharna was jealous how comfortable Usha looked in the stretcher. Ami form IT was worried, and Sophi had to assure her that Usha would probably be back in a few days, better than ever. Sophi noted this.
Sophi adjusted her nose again on the way down the elevator. I looked to centered, too perfect.
Usha did come back in a few days – it looked like she had lost some weight, in some places, and gained it in others – her belly seemed to bounce a little – but she was filled with vigor. And after a few days, her exit wasn’t even in office rumors anymore.
It was a year later a woman with a briefcase came in – noisy, aggressive, but a little respectful. She did not have a badge prepared, but had talked her way past the receptionist to get a guest badge. She did not go straight up to floor four, but wandered floors 2 and 3 first.
Usha was at her desk, and not used to dealing with customer, which the woman with a briefcase claimed to be. Usha was asked if she could help with accounting paperwork and she directed the woman to a different department. Usha was asked if she could help with legal paperwork, and she directed the woman to another department. The woman then asked what floor the lingerie department was on, and Usha directed her to a different building.
The woman was not deterred, an Usha was still looking respectful as coworkers watched. Do you think you could help me with this? Asked the woman, and she put the briefcase on her desk and unlocked it. as Usha opened the briefcase lid up to look inside, the woman woman lifted Usha up by the heels and pushed her all the way in, laughing loudly.
Usha’s coworkers were stunned. Ami screamed and fainted. The woman clicked the suitcase shut, picked it up, and started to run away – but just ran around, as she didn’t know where the elevator or stairs were. The men came to their senses and caught her, and then security came up and got her – and not knowing what to do, they brought the suitcase back to Usha’s desk. They clicked it open, and Usha stepped out all dizzy and Ami fainted again.
The suitcase was taken by security, and the woman was kicked out.
Nobody knew what to do. Usha went back to work, so everyone did. But there were whispers. People barely remembered the hospital call. Was it a magic trick? Was it Usha’s yoga? What even had happened?
At the end of the day, Ami was the bravest. When Usha was signing the last of her paperwork, Ami came up and nervously asked how she did it. Her eyes were so wide with curiosity, Usha though maybe she could share a little bit. But no too much, as other coworkers watched.
“What are people saying,” Usha asked. She got out her spare handbag from a desk drawer, a big one with a zipper.
“Some say you’re an alien. Must mostly just people are confused”
“Then they freed an alien? Earth must be doomed.”
“So you were trapped in the briefcase?”
“I was surprised, not trapped. Mous- Maria has never done anything like that before. I would have figured it out eventually.”
“You know her???”
“We… are close. Since the university visit last year.”
Ami didn’t remember what she meant by that.
“Is that bag like the briefcase?” Ami stared at the handbag left on the desk.
Usha turned to behind her and smiled. “Any bag is like the briefcase.” Usha turned back. “Do you want to try it?”
Ami unzipped the handbag and put it on the floor. She could step in easily enough, but it was hard to stand up. She could kneel, but the bag could not be pulled over her knees. Her coworkers chuckled a bit at her attempts, but Ami knew it was a silly thing to do anyways – unless it wasn’t.
“Ok. Your turn.” Ami stepped out and back.
Usha didn’t know how dramatic she wanted to be about this. She slipped off her shoes, and stood in the bag as Ami had. She kneeled down and tugged, as Ami had. She stood back to her feet, “Pushed. I remember being pushed.”
Ami put her hands on Usha’s shoulders and pushed lightly. Nothing. “I think… are you relaxed enough? Do you meditate?” Ami asked.
Usha nodded, took a deep breath, raised her hands above her hair in a sort of prayer pose, and did a little om chant. Ami put more weight into the push – and Usha started sinking – Quickly? Slowly? Who knows. Faster than an escalator. Amy jerked back when her hands threatened to go into the handbag – and Usha kept sinking in till her hands seemed to disappear into the handbag’s shadows. When without any external intervention, the handbag zipped itself closed.
Ami felt dizzy, but she immediately sat down rather than fainting yet again. She pulled the handbag, sitting it on her lap. It was heavy – heavier than when she had taken it off the desk, but not heavy enough. She rocked the bag back and forth. Trying to figure it out. “Are you ok in there?” she asked as she unzipped it, and Usha popped into reality as Ami knew it sitting on her lap as she sat in the purse… a bit more than Ami wanted on her lap, she managed to push Usha off.
“It’s delightful, If a little stuffy.” Usha stood back up, to the unnerved gazes of her coworkers, pulling the bag off her butt and putting it back on the desk.
“The rumors…”
“The rumors are going to be what they’re going to be,” Usha shrugged, then helped Ami to her feet, before straitening her clothes “At least somebody should know the truth.”
“So what’s the truth?”
“Last year I was in the hospital for a bit – I have a condition, and they aren’t sure if they want to call it Usha Syndrome yet. That’s on of the side effects. Maria has been helping me explore some of the others. We’re going to have to talk about boundaries later.” Usha sighed. If it’s magic, I don’t know what the magic words are. The university doctors aren’t going to admit there are any until proven otherwise.”
“What does it feel like inside there? Look like?”
“Snuggly? Like I could go farther. But since nobody knows what hitting a limit would do… But it’s also not like I can see in the dark.”
“You probably go through a lot of scans.”
“A few.”
“We’ve got the weapons scanner downstairs. Would you be willing…? They probably haven’t turned it off for the night.”
“Sure.”
Ami ran to her phone to inform security of a just-in-case scan, while Usha finished cleaning her desk for the night. Of the few coworkers still there, nobody approached her – but also nobody made a move to leave quite yet.
Speaking to nobody and everybody as Ami finished her call, Usha announced, “Just a heads up, I may have to call in sick tomorrow, depending on how this goes.” Her coworkers gathered in front of her cubicle, to watch, all packed up for the day. “I just need to actually warm up-“
Usha swung the bag around like she was skipping rope, one hand on either handle, Her high jump itself would be impressive, but combined with the wild swing of her arms in lieu of a rope, it seemed inevitable that she’d catch a foot on the edge of the bag – and when she did it was spectacular. The swing of her arms pulled her caught feet backwards in an arc and pulling her legs along, causing her thighs to slap onto the back of her head before anyone realized what was happening – including Usha, but she had been gained some experience of thinking off her feet. She jammed her rolling-up body into the handbag as her ankles hit her chin, converting a mid-air triple fold into some rarefied state of human matter – perhaps something like a liquid – within the crevices of the purse.
The bag landed at Ami’s feet, only Usha’s hands sticking out in an ornate wave. The coworkers dropped their things and clapped – knowing what they ad seen was breaking something than just their sense of perceiving it.
Amy picked up the handbag, and hung it from her shoulder as it’s contents zipped it shut – and the observers crowded into the elevator. she dried to feel any sign of Usha other than weight through the handbag’s sides – but no. it even, somehow shill had a little give, like Ami could fit in her phone if she needed to.
Everyone crowded around the scanner’s screen – the guard pushed back a little, that was his job.
“You can take a picture, right? She’s going to want you to take a picture.” Ami was fine with the guard finding out the context of “she” in real time. The purse rolled down the conveyor belt, and the guard squinted at the result – not quite figuring it out, he took the still frame as instructed, as Ami walked around at caught up the bag. “We got it!” Unzipping it – she stared into the bag… and felt faint again. Having the first ide of what she was seeing made it so much worse.
She looked away, turned over the bag and started shaking. A leg took it’s time slipping out and touched the floor, and Usha slowly straightened out before pulling the handbag off her head before joining the small crowd of coworkers.
There was the scull in the x-ray – the jaw didn’t fit. The pelvis was there, but even Usha was not satisfied in her coworker’s explanations of hog it could have gotten to that angle. Unfortunately, the guard explained, the unit’s record functions were all built around a VCR that had broken down years ago – so it was just going to be their words contributing to the office rumor mill tomorrow.
“Well, that still ansers some of your questions, I hope…” Usha wobbled back to the elevator, either exhausted or making a good show of it, “Please protect my honor…” – nobody had even though to grab her shoes or other things. “See you soon.” The elevator doors closed.
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