The trip is heavily inspired by GhatGPT this time. Rewritten, abridged, but based upon.
Virika as evidenced by the footnotes, had been horrified to have such a work associated with herself. Less horrified to have been the one to write it, but she had not arrived at the point were she admitted horny hours were actual things. She knew they were things. Just hadn’t come to terms with her own. If not horny days and weeks for some of her former classmates.
She tried to leave it buried. And by tried, I mean instead of the several month gap between part 1 and 2, part three came only days later, several waking moments spent trying to brainstorm what could come next.
Usha, with the money she had from selling the house, did not have to perform by the road for several years, so the police never caught her there. She did what she had done before at her hole, but only floated around a bit because that’s what lead to the bad memories.
She ended up spending so much of her free time staring at her navel the she ended up making up her own “Nabhi Yoga”. Since she was the only one doing it, she got to name everything.
Nabhi Chumbak for making an innie more innie
Nabhi Vistar for making an outie more outie
Nabhi Vistar during Ardheka Bandha (the baby belly move) became Adharabhava
Vipareeta Nauli during Ardheka Bandha was supposed to be the opposite of Nauli during Uddiyana Bandha
Nabhimamsa was for innie and outie at the same time (I’ll get to it)
She didn’t claim to make up Uddiyana Bandha or Nauli, but nobody else was trying their spine in knots to stay that way.
How the whole thing started was she tried to tie even more knots in her spine. She got to 6, both above her Ardheka Belly or below her Uddiyana ribs. But it was so many she sort of had to rock over to things because there was no more bend to her spine. She couldn’t even get a grip of her spine to carry herself places.
She should have leaned that reading your bible and praying to God was not enough, you needed to go to Church and see people. But no, she didn’t want to see people. She just saw other hermits on the mountain once in a long while, and a stray cat who probably got everyone to feed it. Not even the Indian Rubber Lady came around, because she thought Usha was somewhere else.
The garden was boring, her hole was boring, and people were scary, so she just sat and looked at her navel. And then she didn’t even want to do that, so she shtretched her belly skin to try and make it go away, and get mad when she though it was gone but it just popped back into view. She was starting to go yogi crazy.
Ush stretched her skin and scrunched her muscles until there was no navel unless she wanted there to be a navel. She acted a little less crazy for a while. But since she wasn’t tying her spine anymore she realized how bored she actually was. So she worked on pulling her navel in, and making her belly muscles stronger in weird ways, and she worked on pushing her belly button out, so she could play with it like a rubber popper, and it got bigger and stronger like a cricket ball, and pushing it further out and pulling it further in. And of course Usha figure she was the first one of billions of humans to do it, so she started naming things Nabhi.
She did weird stuff, just because she could. Adharabhava? I don’t even thing there was a point to that other than doing a thing while doing a thing. That’s yoga for you. Vipareeta Nauli was just because was just because she felt her skin wasn’t wrinkly-able enough – instead of making pretty waves she was bouncing a ball of guts like she wads dribbling a football.
Oh, no, she found a worse thing.
See, the cat that came around? She would call it over and try to kiss it, but it would run away when her face got close. So she took that navel – which could be kind of normal when she was really distracted. But most of the time she was a little distracted and it was saggy and huge, whether she had put it in or out last.
She concentrated real hard on her made-up Nabhi Chumbak exercises and she made it into a mouth. with not really lips and just sort of a cave into her belly. And when the cat came by, she would meow-meow at it and the cat would come over and she’d kiss it with her navel mouth. And since it was prettier than her face the cat was ok with it, and Usha was happy for a while.
But then she thought what if it was a mouth? And she showed the cat Nabhi Vistar, and it batted her outie a little bit, but it was freaked.
Then Usha tried to do a big Nabhi Chumbak and a little Nabhi Vistar and it didn’t really work. so she worked even harder on her navel, and things got weird-er-er in her belly. and she didn’t know how but she could poor warm water into her navel and it would disappear. Then she could poor coll tea into her navel and she could feel it being sucked. And she put a gooseberry in her navel and rolled it around and it really hurt for a bit but it disappeared into her belly.
Usha tried a lot of things. She would try to pull air into her navel, and then she would burp really loudly – out her real mouth, not her navel. She would drink a lot of water, and be able to squirt it out. the tried Chumbak and Vistar together again, and it was thick but it was sort a tougue. She called it Nabhimamsa.
She would Nabhimamsa the cat with dry smooches. She would Nabhimamsa the cat by the nape. And it scares cat but thy can’t do anything about it because it’s a mom thing. And she’d do weird things to see what the cat liked until the cat ran away.
And then she’d look at her Nabhimamsa and she’s want a kiss. She’s lean over her ribs and give it a smooch, and spit out the cat hair, and the leaned closer and practice giving herself tongue while she gave herself tongue. It didn’t make her happy, but it was more than she’d ever gotten from a man.
She didn’t have to sneak in attempts at more Nabhimamsa kisses, being all alone but she sure tried to give herself more. Halasana was more passive, she could hug her butt while doing it. No backbend, no matter the twisting, would give her more than a light peck on the cheek though.
It was at the point she finally got lonely enough to do something about it. Incidentally, she remembered it was about the time she was supposed to get out of prison for negligence – that would be a good start. She prepared for her journey; she did a deep Uddiyana Bandha, and did a practiced backbend and twist to put a knot below her ribcage. She filled a large jug of water from the mountain stream, settled it on her pelvic floor, and put a straw to her Nabhimamsa so she could take a sip whenever she needed. She slid some money under her ribs. She put a warm Kurti on over it, and mad her way down the mountain road.
She clambered like a spider up the prison wall, and slid though the window bard to a dusty cell. It was a little harder than getting out with a big water jug, but she managed. A guard came by, showed her some paperwork, put a big stamp on the paperwork, and walked her out of the prison. Her journey had begun.
She passed many people on the road, who wondered why she didn’t have anything but a kurti. Up and down mountain to the east, until she came to a large grassy plane, full of fireflies. Some would settle on her in her bedroll, when she had settle for the night. She would gently gather some up with her Nabhimamsa, which was gaining a longer and longer navel tongue with practice, letting them sleep safely and soundly in her for the night.
She went by farms, and ask how much farther it was to the mountians. “What mountains?” she pointed to the east, where she was going. “Those aren’t mountains, only clouds.” She walks away not knowing who was crazier.
She came to a village in festival for a false god. Still she danced with them, learning their moves. Into the night, before taking a hot tea and sleeping in a soft bed.
She came again to the mountains, and to a large group moving east slowed by the terrain. the walked together for many days, the telling their stories, and Usha entertaining them with her weird moves. The came to a forked pass, and Usha knew she would not go with them all the way. The continued East, and Usha went North.
She came upon a village in the snow, and the people welcomed her. Saw in the morning that they did exercises much like her Nabhi ones only a little differnt, so she got humble pie. She observed, and listened, and learned new things.
The next village west was attacked by bandits. She tried to ignore it and go on, but she just went the way the bandits did, and God convicted her heart to do somthing, even if they had knives. She gulped a lot of air, and made a horrible noise that echoed around the mountain pass, so a bandit went to investigate. then she jumed off a rock on to two of them, catching one’s head deep in her navel and the under her ribs, and they struggled until they tuckered out. And there were no more bandits, just villagers they had tied up. Usha used one of the Nabhi village tricks to break the restraints, because all things work for good for those who know God.
The stolen villagers took their stuff, which was also probably the bandit’s stuff, and went back to their village thanking her. Usha continued on the road.
But her water had broke. she found the kurti was when when she took it off to sleep; she hadn’t kept it save when attacking the bandits.
Another village had a scavanger, which charged a lot for a jug. When the scavanger saw her putting the new jug on her pelvic floor, she said her knew another person who could do wierd shit like that, north of the village.
Mina was directed to Ramdas’ house. She saw a man carrying a boulder, but when he turned, it was not with his hands, but his navel. He was a skinny man starting to sink into himself.
Usha watch hime for a bit, but then you could hear a big straw sucking sound.
“It’s you!”
“It’s me?”
“The one who sucks so much, right? I knew you would come some some day. May I teach you my secrets?”
And so Usha learned his exercises, and practiced a bit with him to make sure she got them right, and then got ready for the road again. He gave her a little rock necklace that looked like it had a navel. It was probably illegally broken off a statue.
Back on the road, He water supply was not lasting long. She was very sweaty, but didn’t think she was sick. but she had actually gained some muscle with Ramdas’ exercises. she was about to fall over when she came to a mountain stream. She drank a lot, redilled her jug, then got naked. Untying her spine to breathe easier, she lay lay in the stream to cool down.
She was clean outside, so she cleaned her inside with the Kiryas, letting her shit run downstream and poison somebody probably. She relaxed on her back and her navel filled with water, and she could finally see how much gunk she had left in it during her trip. Embarrassed, she tried to close it, and it looked like she was a boy peeing three meters straight up. She then actually cleaned it out, before trying out and going to bed.
The road went further north, into the cold, and into Nepal. she say lots of pointy mountains, and little villages. The only place for her to sleep was the temples, because there’s not a lot of wood or mud for houses, only stone and ice. She stayed at the temples and stretched and read her bible for a while, but didn’t eat their food.(1) She did have tea though.
The road went south and things got warmer, and even though it was warmer Usha was getting really tired of walking. But the road finally came to the town where her house was, so she went in and took a nap. She had forgotten she had sold it, but the new owners put up with it because they knew her. In exchange for a place to recover for a few days, she told them about her journey, and anybody that came to listen when word spread that she was back.
Everyone said she probably shouldn’t go back to live in her hole, but she had to at least check on it. The garden was full of weeds, but her stuff was still there. She gathered it up, and found another place in the village. Not a big one to stay with students, but a little one where she would be near people.
(1) 1 Corinthians 8:13
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