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4: Where one loses control

Also at https://archiveofourown.org/works/47065192/chapters/118696510

“No breaks!” Angela looped back. Jogging in place as she admonished Mei, “I thought you walked Antartica.”

“Walked. Is the. Word.” Mei took a deep breath and resumed her run.


The two had circled Gibraltar base completely. Mercy took a moment to breathe, but Mei was ready to call it a day.

“Practically sedentary,” Mercy spat.

“Like you didn’t know that.”

“18.20. At your age, your own army would expect you to do that in 18.20 – as a conscript. You did worse than a retiree.”

Mei started to cough, her throat finally getting moist enough to have spit again, “How fortunate I’m not a solder,” before downing more water. “Am I injured enough yet?”

“Injured? Heavens no. The only way you’re going to build endurance is to recover from exercise properly. *You* are warmed up, and that is all.

Mei’s coughing immediately stopped. “Nooo….”

“Stage One, page one. Don’t worry, you don’t have to stand up for these.”


Mei, even with the the recent flexibility bestowed upon her hips, was quickly convinced that toe touching was a goal, not a given. Her hamstrings objected. Even when she tried to lean into it, her spare tire jammed into her ribs. She repeated the stretch again and again, legs spread wider and wider – eventually it was not her ribs protesting, but her spine. She twisted and stretched toward her left and right foot – And it quickly became clear after repeated requests that Mercy either had no intention of using her caduceus staff, of had no idea when the appropriate time to use it was.

There was some splits practice – which wasn’t too bad. Left foot forward, right foot forward, forcing things into some apparent state of ‘squareness’. Leaning various directions, being sure to keep the state. 

Some sort of “butterfly pose” with ankles pulled in and knees pushed out and down – her tendons popped from that one.

Trying to balance on the back of her neck, not falling to the ground – the next step was supposedly sticking your knees around your head.

Some spine curling on all fours, face and chest down. Trying to get up on all fours, face and chest up. 

The staff didn’t come out once.


The next day Mei’s legs ached. And she was forced to throw a “medicine” ball, though that name sounded made up. The same routine.

The next day Mei’s arms ached. Balancing on a leg. Jumping. Sprinting back and forth. Mei had memories of similar drills during high school, and university, on the ‘military days’ before terms. The instructors that came to the school would always hold the Omnic crisis over their heads – it was over by the time she was 14, and she had never feared about being forced to serve – no, that was a lie. Mei had always feared being forced into service. Into a meat grinder. The drills seemed pointless. So much had seemed pointless.

Had Overwatch saved her? No. not in the way it had saved others. But it had given her a way out. A way to feel what she was doing actually meant anything. Once upon a time.

It didn’t feel right to bring these feelings up. Angela would just say she was stalling.

And yet. Her muscles ablaze. Me ended up doing it.

“You know. Before the war. Switzerland had compulsory service. To make the young boys into young men. To give them a taste of the real world before forcing them on their own into it. The women? They could volunteer. To work with the men, to merry the ones returning home. Of course, the Swiss never fought in the ‘real wars’. Until they were forced to.”

Angela leaned against the wall. “When the Omnics came – when we thought the omnics came – they didn’t care about neutrality. And so many fine young Swiss boys found themselves shipped off on planes, or on trains, avoiding being made into young men. The whole scheme fell apart after that. I volunteered, as did all the soldier around me. No parents to send me away or tell me no, you see.”

“It’s been… odd. Never seeing a victory in war. But always being attached to one military or another. To have had your greatest creation, one that would save lives, used to people to charge into their deaths again and again and again and again.”

“Your creation…”

“Creation, discovery,  it was taken out of my hands before I had much to do with it. Even the smartest child is still a child.”

“Is that why you haven’t been using it during my training? It doesn’t feel like something you -we- should control? Or-“

“I am afraid what you would do with it. I mean. There are times it feels I’m just trying to out-heal stupid. But then you become the volunteer hho gets hurt because of a talent that i had a hand in… I never wanted that responsibility. I’m tired of double edged swords.”


Regardless of how Angela had felt at the end of that session, the next one she brought out the Caduceus staff. The only question was where the first offical test was going to be.

“The most ‘natural’ place would be along the arms. Not normally load bearing, well known test for hypermobility.”

“But, if we were to hit my hips agin – the effect is cumulative. It might not be part of your ‘stage 1’, but…”

“It’s an argument. I have the data for everything… but I would really reccomend spreading theeffect as evenly as possible. Colloquial as always, extremey lax mucles right next to normal ones is unplesant.”

“Then. Knees? Calves? Through there’s nothing in the exercizes that has targeted those so far.”

“Foot Extensions are in Stage three”

“Then – toe touching or plaow pose. the waist. Unless that’s slipping the pelvis somehow.”

“Also a possibility. We’d want to cover the abdomen and Lumbar vertabre, just to be safe.”

“So- shirt off?”

“I suppose.” Angel quickly turneded and locked the door, before going through her supplies, Unfortunately, we do need to privide a minor trauma to the area, to make sure the swarm activates.You have heard of a douche bag before, I assume?”

“A what.”

“Ah.. one of these.” She held up a dark orange rubber container, “Apparently the Stacians call it a hot water bottle- shield their poor little minds from what it was actually made for. Which usually is enemas, but I was thinking slightly padded blunt trauma.”

“You… slap me with a ‘douchebag’.”

“It’s not like I’d use a hammer. Or a whip. At least this has it’s medical uses.”

“If that is what it takes.”

“Ok. Floor, examination table, any prefrences? Probably will take four rounds, if that makes any difference.”

“Floor, then. I’ve been on it often enough.”


Mei had felt the pins and needles sensation of the activate Caducius Swarm before. The myriad specks of robots had spread throughout her body when they had been injected – first when she joined Overwatch, Again before she was put into cryosleep. Not just skin crawling. Deeper. Much deeper. It felt as if your body had revolted, but had no idea what to do with itself.

The waterbottle bounding of her flank – she remembered Angela asking if she had any fetishes, and this was not a candidate. One second she was sure she had been bruised – the next second nothing. Her belly, her sides, her back – she just gritted her teeth. But nothing actually felt different afterwards. Definatly better than running had.

“Ok, let’s say… five minutes rest, just to make sure everyhting has stablized.”

Mercy emptied the bag of it’s extra water weight, hanging it to dry. She noted a few things.

“First, Mei, I’d like you to bring you hands to you waist and push inward, as much pressure as you still feel comfortable with.”

Laying on her back, Mei did so –  and they sunk in.. She gave a little ‘eep’.

“Just relax, you’re all still there. Try and feel for your bones.”

The ribs? those were easy. the could always feel those. she probed to find she could gust start to hook her fingers under her fibcage – not that this was somthing she would regularly test, but it felt novel. Hr spine? No. There were sheet of mucke in the way. but those sheet gave the slightest bit. Her pelvis? Not that she had ever lost it, but she found and followed it’s edges more easily than she normally did.

Angela took a few notes. “Alright, please sit up. Avoid using you arms, if you can.”

Mei had been getting in more pushups under Angela’s training. But when she tried to sit up like that her spine just buckled.

“Ok – just feel that out for a moment. Describe it.”

“My but is on the ground. I can feel myself sitting. But i feel the wheel pose too. My stomach is strething, a bit.”

“Anything about your spine?”

“I don’t know. It’s just… strange.”

“What you’re doing,” Angela puller her labcoat to the side, “I somthing like this,” She thrust her abdomen forward, semeing to shink down as she did so, “Your lumbar vertabre aren’t quite in a loop, but your ribcake is almost drawn to your pelvis. Not completely out of line with what I expected,” She straightend out. “Ok, using you hands, can you get up?”

Mei managed to push herself up to sitting, and managed to stay there. “I.. everything’s pulling at once. It itches.”

“Can you stand?”

Mei made it to her feet – her legs were steady, but she seemed to sway back and forth. She realized to her horror, that she was swaying more than after she had left cryo.

Angela offered a hand. “Let’s get you to the examination room – see how much retraining we have to do.”



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