John Egbert stormed out of the room – an outcome completely anticipated by one Miss Jade Harley, Witch of Space. As soon as his stomping had fallen out of earshot, the girl who had been returning his insults relaxed and smiled.
“well, that will get me a day before he tries find me to apologize, right? :)”
“dunno why it has to be a ‘me’ instead of an ‘us’,” a Dave trying to be as un-spritely as possible was still left in the room, “or just why you cant do this so-called ‘project’ on the ship.”
“well it is a secret project 🙁 and a big one. and i don’t want jack touching it if he finds a way to catch up.”
“how long has it even been since we’ve seen the guy? for all I know he stopped to have a yiff party with whoever that white b… chick is”
“thats very insensitive”
“says miss yiff herself”
“ugh,” Jade huffed up to the main deck.
After giving her a moment, Davesprite followed her up, “so you don’t think he’ll notice we’ve slowed down a bit? far as I know, this bucket of bolts is still on track for its three year tour.”
“it is. and that sort of concerns me. i’ve played with speeds as low a half-c, and it seems like our rate of progress doesn’t change. the sky just looks different. i have a nagging feeling we could go at a crawl and still end up there after three years- oh do I got the munchies let’s see if nanna has anything cooked”
“is it just me or have you been packing a lot away – hedgehog speed must be pretty hard to maintain.”
”…….yes,” Jade glanced at her fingers in turn as the two made a quick trip to the kitchen. Her apparently trimmed nails gave off a slight green glow, as she concentrated on each of their hyperspatial connections for a moment. Every shrunken planet the ship transported was fine. Her room was secure. John was pacing and muttering in his. Dave – he had dropped his off in his room. Oh well, there was no particular reason to secretly have a reminder on him, “at the moment we are are at .94 c-“
“speed of light, right?”
“94% the speed of light, which should give me a few extra days to check on my project,” the two waved to Nannasprite – Davesprite took a single cookie for show, Jade ate two in a single bite, and took a moment to captchalogue dozens more. For good measure, she took a gallon of milk from the fridge. Nannasprite merely pinched the girl’s cheek for a moment, then went to go alchemise another gallon.
“at least you give the old lady something to do”
“anyways, once we reach our destination it will be a lot safer to show you, with proper domains and such,” she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, “twenty four hours,” she whispered and then was gone.
Davesprite let out a long sigh. “probably eats birds anyways. killer asparagus or whatever. so, nap? nap sounds good.”
~
While Aradia Megido didn’t spend a huge amount of her existence gazing upon the GREEN SUN, she had spent a small time observing it while she still had charge of a Sollux of questionable cognizance. But now, for a few moments, she had returned to an edge of Paradox Space – looking for a landmark insignificant to its vastness, yet unique in its existence.
Landing on it was a different story. Aradia zapped through aeons of time as space curled around her, trying to match the mounds’ speed at exactly the moment…
~
Somewhere in the region of the GREEN SUN, orbiting at a notable fraction of the speed of light, a pair of breasts orbits without apparent cause or purpose. That is, a much less substantial pair had appeared in the star’s orbit some months ago, and had started slowly growing, unbound by whichever of the natural forces that dared to constrict them earlier, slowly collecting mass in their own right, in addition to collecting a film of dust while bathed in the suns’ green glow.
One day, many months into their existence, their owner appeared – one Witch of Space – to plod around on a pair of planetoids of her very own flesh.
~
Jade knelt down. She could feel her own heels on her chest – barely. “these things could survive re-entry,” she stretched out a hand to suddenly hear something shouting above her in the ether.
“yooooOOOOOO-” Aradia fell from the sky, ramming straight into of 50 tons of fat and miscellany, right beside Jade. The human reeled, both recovering from the jab in her chest and the shockwave under her feet – a shockwave that barely failed to launch her into space that moment. She recognized the troll from her dreams at a glance, then promptly dove on top of her.
The roughhousing was rather short-lived, as every not-quite-launch-into-orbit gave Jade another poke in the ribs, but it was still enough to leave the two gasping for breath as they lay beside each other a few minutes later, covered in dust.
“i think your rumble spheres – that’s what these are, right? – a bit of a liability”
“that’s what you call them? 😮 well, like this yes, but it’s not like they are standard – er – spheres. there’s lots of cells of every sort, a huge blood supply – even duplicate organs. I could pull five replacement bodies out of here without a second thought – well, as long as I could think to do it. i would not call that a liability.”
“no spare brains then”
“noooo… 🙁 no zombies”
“spare skeletons?” Aradia gave a bit of an unnerving smile.
“uh… mostly not the type you’re probably thinking of. Bone, yes, but the skeletons are staying inside today, thanks. Cookie?” Jade unleashed a stack from her captchalogue, a handful of which she commenced to stuff into her mouth as quickly as she could manage.
“you’re a growing girl, aren’t you?” Aradia managed to get one for herself, “ohh, these are really sweeet. how do you even eat these?”
“wha? dar gra,” Jade managed.
“bluh, no.”
Jade responded by snatching the rest of the cookie from Aradia’s hand and eating that too, “no, yum. maybe you just need it with milk.”
Aradia stared back in horror, then remembered she had seen worse, “no thanks. you know,” she stood up and started to dust herself off, “you really need to clean these.”
“i was actually planning on…” her cheeks bleached. She had brought soap and water for a scrub-down. In buckets.
“i’ll help. maid of time, might as well.”
“i… have almost everything… just let me get the wet… towels…”
Jade flashed a million miles away, screamed to the void, soaked what towels she had in what buckets she had, stashed the buckets, and flashed back.
“here!”
“i saw all of that, you know”
“did you? i mean, i’m sorr-“
“i’m not a wiggler, silly, i have no reason to be afraid of that stuff any more.”
“i… afraid?”
~
It was several hours of intermittent conversation and cleaning, meter upon meter of boob getting multiple rounds of exfoliation. It was like cleaning any room in the house – well, maybe a few rooms, and getting a sponge bath at the same time. While Jade could have done a similar action in but a few moments with her powers, but the lack of actual physical stimulation she had felt over the past several months, the scores of unscratched itches – well, it all hadn’t made her plan of mass-accumulation any easier to execute. Some sensation was welcome.
~
“ok, so if you didn’t get the idea from the name ‘rumble spheres’, then… why this? why here?” the two sat at one of the few landmarks available – a nipple. A dry towel covered the actual bump as a too-late show of modesty, but Aradia didn’t hesitate to play with the aureola’s bumps at her feet as she half considered the significantly different texture of human milk. No, human musclebeast- er… ‘cow’? Humans are so weird. The offered cookie did at least seem to go down much better with it.
“well, mass, in part. i can scale things, but i can’t add mass. well, i could add any mass, really, but my own biomass is most likely to respond properly.”
“so you plan to sit on your enemies rather than crush them in between these.”
“would that even…” Jade stood up and started fighting with her outfit.
“i’d assume it has something to so with your momentum, which is… jade?” The other girl had started stripping, “what, you know you can change your clothes, right?
“what?”
~
Aradia felt mixed feeling about this “bikini” – equal parts “overexposed” and “time for bed”. She tried to distract herself with Jade’s appearance – the bottoms were similar – though black instead of red, and a little swirl on the hip instead of a gear. That weird dent in the middle that humans had. The chest – instead of the wide supporting wrap she had been informed was appropriate, Jade’s chest was kaleidoscope of greens throbbed with every beat of her heart.
“what would happen if I touched that?” Aradia asked, pointing.
“do you really want to know?”
“uhhhhhhhh…,” Aradia squinted, “i’m asking…?”
“ok, theoretically a little bit of you’d come out over… there. Or at least parts. strips of cells. wouldn’t recommend it.” Jade motioned to the not-quite-so-glowy matching stump where her breasts joined, “from the correct angle, though-” Jade appeared to tug on her chest, and stuck an arm through. The arm appeared attached to the distant stump, and waved, “it will accommodate a pair of knockers quite nicely. though, as you might imagine, a displacement binder is a lot quicker to remove when you don’t weigh tons.”
“what are ‘tons’?”
Jane realized trying to answer would be pointless, “heavy. weight. just a moment, i might as well go all the way through”
Aradia watched Jade disappear from where she stood, limb by limb, in a way that was complete unlike taking off a pair of overalls. Whatever those were. And without even a poof, Jade was one piece again. One hugely lopsided piece.
“ok – time for a test run – grab on to something, I guess.”
Aradia felt a shift. The ground – skin – was moving beneath her feet. She panicked for a moment and grabbed the closest thing she could find – the nipple they had just been sitting by. Just before before she remembered she could fly, she was face to face with Jade again, trying to pinch at the human’s left nipple. She tried to push away, but found she would only slowly float back unless she thought to maintain her distance.
“wow… they feel so smooth…” Jade manipulated her beasts in various forms, using both powers and hands, “ok, part 2 – punch me in the boob.”
Aradia paused for a moment.
“PUNCH ME IN THE BOOB YOU WIMP!”
The Troll immediately recalled the old days with Vriska. And in most other circumstances, would have been a hard punch – really, it would of. Except in this case, where it was like ramming a wall of meat. Gl’bgolyb might have been a better target.
“sweeet… not even vessel breakage,” Jade smiled – a smile Aradia was all too familiar with, “now, part 3 -“.
The only reason Aradia had to believe that she wasn’t shrinking was that her own body wasn’t glowing green.
“- redistribution.”
When the glowing ceased, Aradia found herself back in front of the nipple. It was not quite so large this time – but Jade –
Jade attempted to scoop up the pinky-sized Aradia in a quick motion, but instead found her hand empty and the troll nowhere.
“you might want to reconsider that, you know, maid of time and all,” Aradia was perched in Jades ear – the non-furry one – “did i ever tell you are gross humans are?”
“my ears are as clean as they’ve ever been right now,” Jade took a moment to re-adjust ear hairs to their normal size – 34 times smaller, she quickly calculated – so she could actually hear the troll rather than resort to space power trickery.
“i’m not talking about clean – just what even is this?” Aradia’s hands worked over Jade’s earlobe, “i hate to think what the other entrances look like”
“OK, OUT,” Jade bopped the other side of her head, “i was considering scaling you up, but bluhhh.”
Jade started to slowly shrink down again – her breast slowly filling out to their previous proportions as Aradia watched.
~
“that-” Aradia yawned, “those are a lot of cookies you must of eaten.”
Jade had separated into multiple pieces again, opting to leave a bit more curve to her body’s side of her displacement binder, “it’s a little more than cookies. but i’m not sharing my spam :|”
“that’s fine, I guess… wow, it’s weird not being in dream bubbles. i never get tired like this anymore.”
“i’ve got… time… if you want to take a nap. I was feeling the same way, actually.”
Aradia’s god tier outfit changed to something closer to a full body swimsuit, “i think i’ll take you up on that.”
Jade thought for a moment, then her outfit almost changed to match. She opted for shorts on top. “well then, if you’ll come with me,” she led Aradia by the hand to her cleavage and, with a slight bit of spatial work, gave the troll a flesh blanket to snuggle under – shortly before doing the same for herself.
The last thing Aradia remembered before falling asleep was Jade’s warm pulse, waves of warmth washing over her.
~
You would think the two godtiers would know something about the dreamworld they entered.
They might have, but it was not much.
~
“Jade? Jaaade?” John had pounded on her door, went off for a bit, and returned to pound again.
“just a…. minute.” came her sleepy voice. A moment later the door opened a crack, “you’re ear- uh, what?”
“I wanted to… you know… say I’m sorry for the stuff I said yesterday.”
Jade looked confused for a moment, then a light came on. She flung open the door and hugged him, “that’s fine, its alright. just think before you start yelling, ok?”
John hugged her back, hesitantly as the girl seemed to be in a swimsuit. Then he grew rigid, “who… is that Aradia?”
The troll had, at least, reset her own outfit before John had spotted her.
“shee…. had something to tell us?” Jade looked back nervously.
“What was that?” John asked.
“something – important – yes-” the troll stammered, “what have you heard about Lord English?”
_____
Jade goes off ship to check on a secret project
~
Jade stats that I came up with:
57034kg total mass as of story.
Stands about 170cm normally – 17 BMI, which is a little on the thin side.
57m tall after ‘redistribution’
Each breast is around 12m in circumference, 3.7m in diameter, and has 45 sq. m. surface area. The combined area is a pretty decent sized apartment, some lost to cleavage.
(for pun)
Leave a Reply