ok the thought
gag comic maybe?
Observing a poster “unlock you splits”
woman, heavy enough to be told she shouild lose weight (is anything but the thinnest of sticks), exhausted from workout, goes in to sign up, putting in her card to pay. Instructor walks around and, saying its a quick feasibility check, stchs somting between a leche tool and a tubular plockpick in her navel. After a bit of fiddling , the applicant easily slides into a flat straddle split – taking a moment to realize she can’t stand back up.
and then the card reader beeps her payment has been declined.
She tries another. It fails. Realizing she was packing lite, the instructor pulls the toollecving her legs in the relaxed state – she better be back with the payment soon.
When she gets back – in a wheelchair – the payment desk is empty with signs of the poster being removed.
what follows is a series of images of becoming more comfortable – stages of grief style – with her unlocked hips.
~
is the booth – and the salesman/instructor – itself about to be kicked out for not making rent? the concept of making a key to specifically release flexibility potential in too much conflict with the Put In The Work ethos of the gym?
Did the client get pulled into a sales pitch after seeing unbelievable claims, desperate to get last minute clashflow?
wheelchair != paralysis. More standing is no longer the default position, straddle splits may be. See: “Splits Shuffle – Kazumi Kawahara”
Theoretically she could get back to normal walking, if she could figure out whatever the opposite of straddle splits is. Getting to legs 90 degrees apart is now the opposite challenge of what it once was.
Awkward thigh contraction exercises where legs speed wide is actually the restiing pose
At the beginning she need to tie her knees together or she’ll naturally be pushed out of the chair
Leave a Reply